December 15, 2007

Almuerzo en la comuna de Puerto Nuevo y los gatos mutantes televisados

Por: Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo en pretextos

thundercats0raEscribe Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo

En la comuna de Puerto Nuevo se come arroz blanco brilloso debido al exceso de manteca El Cochinito, bien salado, acompañado de jamonilla y/o plátanos amarillos fritos. El arroz, se moja con ketchup. Se trata de gente pobre, desde luego. Se bebe jugo de china en polvo marca Tang en los vasos de cortesía de cristal que regalaban en Burger King pro fondos del Albergue Olímpico. Los niños llegan de la escuela después de las tres de la tarde, se bajan de la guagua escolar, abren el portón de rejas y atraviesan el patio interior semiselvático haciendo bombas de chicle y con los uniformes de la escuela bien sudados. Se dirijen a la tercera casa del complejo y está lloviznando. Allí, la señora los recibe con alegría. Inmediatamente, pasan al cuarto de las camas literas, donde el televisor está encendido y, cuando llueve más duro, se escucha el plof que hacen las frutas del árbol de pan maduras que lanza el viento contra las piedras. Los obreros del almacén de ferretería contiguo también las oyen. Los niños tienen, a esa hora, una cita diaria con las caricaturas de los Thundercats. A mí, personalmente, me encanta el muñeco espantoso que llaman Mun-Ra, la momia peligrosa y mala. Me parece extraordinaria su transformación en un ente malvado semimuerto, undead -para los iniciados- que viene a joder desde ultratumba. También esa actitud de ganga de los Thundercats, sus entidades corpóreas felihumanas súpermusculosas, cada gato mutante con su poder sobrenatura, dispuestos siempre a salvar a la gente buena y decente de cualquier peligro. Sobre todo, me atrae la señal color chinita o anaranjado fosforescente que hace las veces de alarma para que cada cual deje lo que hace y se reuna en bonche para solucionar algún entuerto, dicho así por pura referencia literaria y para nombrar la aventura thundercatiana de modo quijotesco; no vaya a ser que la gran profesora Luce López Baralt entre en convulsiones. En el ínterin, la señora sirve la comida en platos de pasta dura con dibujitos de Winnie The Poo o alguna otra viñeta del momento. En la tercera casa se come sobre las camas, mirando el televisor, bajo la advertencia de no derramar tan siquiera un grano brilloso o una gota de ketchup. El olor de la jamonilla impregna la casa completa y esa escencia hace a los niños bien felices. Dicha felicidad, también salada, es absolutamete inexplicable. Las camas literas tienen sábanas con prints de los pitufos y siempre están limpias. La señora lava todos los días. No hay máquina secadora, así que los niños están pendientes porque se les ha avisado, cosa de que dejen lo que están haciendo para ayudarla a recoger las sábanas tendidas en el momento en que se raspen aguaceros imparables. Para mí, los Thundercats y los pitufos son la misma vaina, lo único que los pitufos son azules y un poco más “diversos”. Qué genialidad eso de nombrar a cada pitufo y hacerles su personalidad a la medida de acuerdo con los pecados capitales y las siete virtudes. Y Gárgamel, el viejo diablo, siempre al asecho y con pelos feos que le salen por las orejas y aquella batola raída larga y negra. Nunca he podido decidirme sobre cuál entre los pitufos prefiero: Perezoso, Vanidoso y Filósofo. Ahora bien, no tengo dudas de que mi favorito/favorito es o Glotón o Cocinero. ¿Quién puede resistirse a las tres y pico de la tarde, de veras, a un blueberry muffing con wipped cream y más sí se lo ofrecen a uno desde la dimensión televisada?

-mcc.

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