October 16, 2006

Triste aspiración de una euforia farmacéutica

Por: Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo en incontinencia

cocaineEscribe Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo

La última gota de ego se sostenía titubeante entre los labios del muchacho. Traté de observarla sin que se diera cuenta y disimular las ganas de recogerla entre los míos. Por eso fue que cambié el tema de enchule y me desvié hacia uno salubrista.

Veníamos del baño trasero del antro y cada uno hacía el esfuerzo de caminar entre la multitud sin sentirse superior a los que no se habían metido coca. Se trataba de una ceremonia íntima que repetíamos a menudo, desde hace tiempo, automáticamente, como si ya no sintiéramos los estragos iniciales del amargo sabor farmacéutico atrapado en la garganta.

Llegamos a la pista de baile con todo el peso de las rayas inhaladas más dos tragos de Bacardi Razz que acabaron con nuestros presupuestos. Madonna en house aportó lo suyo para que nos juntáramos y nos quisiéramos debajo de las luces fluorescentes y los rayos láser. Cher mixeada por el Dj en una especie de reguero musical fuera de orden nos entró hasta el centro del pecho y nos invitó a quitarnos las camisas.

Una premonición de carjacking se coló entre las bocinas y al rato se instaló en la figura de una cara pintorreteada que divisé más adelante. No dejé de bailar pero, después de encender un cigarrillo y extender mis brazos sudados sobre sus hombros flacos, acerqué mi boca a sus oídos y dije que cada vez nos alejábamos más de casa.

Esas imágenes no me llevaron al pánico, sino de vuelta al baño, solo, para repetir la dosis. Allí me encontré con un licenciado, que –según inventé– insinuaba que podía ayudarme. Pronto le advertí que no procedería, lo dejé con la palabra en la boca, y me encerré en uno de los cubículos. El humo/ más el rón/ más las ganas de que nada durara/ acentuaron el sabor farmacéutico./ La cabeza me dio vueltas/ una vez sobre sí misma/ aunque (si usted me hubiese observado)/ desde arriba,/ porque el supuesto techo del cúbiculo/ era descubierto,/ no se hubiese enterado.//

Salí de allí sacudiéndome las narices, buscando aire. Un amigo se me cruzó enfrente y me preguntó por mi familia. Me sentí más fuera de onda y circunstancias. Lo ignoré, quise invisibilizarlo. Puse énfasis no en los apellidos de mi estirpe sino en la erotización de los nervios heredados. El cuerpo no respondía. En esos momentos se dedicaba a flotar en el vacío de las ganas liberadas. La música se me metía por dentro ahora tres, cinco, siete veces. La carne que yo soy la sentía como marinada en una crápula semicivilizada.

Por unos segundos cancelé todas mis responsabilidades.

Un viaje con ron y cocacola (pongo cocacola aquí para efectos del programa de protección de testigos), no autorizado por la oficina local de pasaportes. Triste sustituto de las hierbas buenas y el líquido sin profilácticos. Provocan fuga de madrugada a los reinos de otros pómulos explorados por dentro. Hay que morder el centro de otra lengua para que el sobrante del traspaso de los polvos níveos se disuelva en la saliva e hinque bien; porque no es otra cosa que punzada: salobre, ácida y estimulante. La meta fue la raya que me presentó el asaltante. La cosa fue que intenté joder toda la noche y terminé encañonado. Un cañón niquelado y un círculo neón de compromisos aplazados pa después y preceptos disciplinarios me alumbraba la cara de vergüenza. Entiéndase: la sonrisa cincelada allí durante varias horas quedó burlada y los ojos se me congelaron en actitud de venga más, que más merezco. Un azoro, la continuidad artificial de las pulsiones y una euforia que me entró para transformar lamentos en bailes y movimientos espasmódicos en debilidades erráticas. Entre nosotros dos (y el tipo) todo estaba mal coordinado.

4 Responses to ' Triste aspiración de una euforia farmacéutica '

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  1. olga mesmer said,
    on October 16th, 2006 at 5:23 pm

    Me encanto esta oracion! “La carne que yo soy la sentía como marinada en una crápula semicivilizada.”

  2. Raquel said,
    on October 16th, 2006 at 9:24 pm

    manuel, esto esta alucinante, desde la primera oracion, manuel, alucinante

  3. on October 18th, 2006 at 8:03 am

    Definitivamente, era “aspiración” lo que iba. 😉

    Saludos, Raquel –si eres la que yo conozco y, si no, también. Veo que has incorporado el cierre de los comentarios en este blog, Raquel, en este blog. Qué gusto leerte, qué gusto.

  4. Sirreal said,
    on October 19th, 2006 at 3:44 pm

    Adiój, pero…esto lo publicaron en En Rojo, en Claridad, con otro nombre. Qué sucios son esos comunistas de mierda.

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