January 29, 2006

Oaktown’s Greatest Dive: Segundo Microrelato del Certamen (perdonen los problemas técnicos)

Por: Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo en micros eróticos II


Por Tomás Redd™
Especial para Estruendomudo

Dwight nunca hubiese estado de acuerdo con que veinte mujeres del vecindario se treparan en sus sillas lounge de vinil rojo y vitorearan desenfrenadamente a un hombre. Tampoco hubiese pensado que su establecimiento, una barra black power de vecindario que sirvió de guarida para los fanáticos más acérrimos de los Oakland Raiders de los setentas, se convertiría en un antro de perdición donde igual se organizaban torneos de spades que reuniones comunitarias y hip-hop nights con bouncers engabanados, velvet ropes y algún show en vivo con un rapero de tercera.

El día en que decidimos ir acompañados por primera vez al Bird Cage no nos recibieron los usuales pimps añejados con sus ya deshilachados trajes de satín y sombreros Fedora. Ese día la gerencia había alquilado la pista de baile para que Shaniqua, una prieta preciosa con unas carnes duras y mirada bellaca que nos servía los tragos todos los jueves, celebrara lo que supuestamente sería su última noche de soltería con un séquito de amigas que iban a todas. Con su usual picardía, nuestra mesera predilecta nos invitó a que la acompañásemos y -antes de que pudiésemos rehusar y salir del local sin tener que dar explicaciones- ya tenía a nuestras parejas sentadas en el front row de un one-man-show featuring Tyrone and his sidekick: un prieto tosco y barbú que, dada su genética afro-anything, podía fácilmente contonearse y flagelar con la verga a cualquiera que estuviese a un metro de distancia. A pesar de que tenía una pipa cervecera y le faltaba un diente frontal, aquel macho tenía a todos a sus pies. Manuel, Grady y yo nos miramos algo frustrados y bastante intimidados pues había quedado claro quién era el Bravo de la Llanura. Esa noche nuestras jevas, si es que se animaban a meter mano con nosotros, de seguro iban a mirar nuestros miembros con algún desdén y quizás hasta con pena.

Luego de haberse paseado por todo el dance floor dejando que le chuparan, mordiesen y frotasen la verga, el performero anunció que tenía una sorpresa “for all the bitches in da house”. Acto seguido, sacó una manta de plástico translúcido y encendió un strobe light que emitía una luz blanca intermitente a todo tren. El black stallion sacó a Shaniqua de su trono improvisado, tiró el toldo encima de ambos y empezó a desnudar a la homenajeada. El efecto de luz nos dejaba ver fragmentos, lo suficiente para darnos cuenta de que estábamos a punto de presenciar a dos bestias sexuales en acción. En cuestión de segundos ambos estaban fusionados. Ella se metió la manguera de incendios en la boca como queriendo redefinir el término deep throat. Toda la barra, incluyendo a los tecatos que se metían a jugar en las niqueleras electrónicas, estaba enchufada a aquel evento y en silencio, salvo una amiga de la novia, que gritaba cosas como: "Suck that big old dong, girl”. Al ratito estaban chichando full, de pie y en el medio de la pista, justo debajo del disco ball. Ella se enganchó y amarró a aquel hombre con sus piernas gruesas y musculosas mientras subía y bajaba al ritmo de las líricas de Biggie: “To all the ladies in the place with style and grace / allow me to lace these lyrical douches in your bushes / Who rock grooves and make moves with all the mommies / The back of the club, sippin’ Moet is where you’ll find me”. Nadie se miraba, pues ya en ese punto la bellaquera era tanta que al menos yo sentía los botones de la cremallera a presión y era evidente que la caseta estaba montada. Pasó un corto tiempo y tumbaron las luces del negocio. Alguien prendió una bombilla en el baño y logramos ver a Tyrone recogiendo sus cosas y salir por la puerta de atrás. Cuando volvió la luz, me paré cerca del baño de empleados y vi que Shaniqua estaba bañada en sudor, media desorbitada, con el maquillaje regado por todas partes y con sus pezones grandes y negros bien endurecidos.

Un cáncer en la próstata se había llevado a quien en vida fue uno de los peores administradores de barras que jamás se ha conocido: Dwight Johnson y con él se fue el poco black pride feeling que alguna vez habitó el recinto. Al otro día, la policía de Oakland se encargó de llevarse lo que quedaba del Bird Cage. La despedida fue por partida doble. No volvimos a salir con las jevitas de esa noche. A veces sueño con volver a aquel gran tugurio en el ghetto.

>>Tomás Redd™ es asiduo colaborador de Estruendomudo, donde se puede leer más de su escritura, que él describe vía cibernética con un solo adjetivo: "Detestable". El último rumor sobre su identidad tachada lo ubica con una jeva que está que estilla en las entrañas de la barra sanjuanera llamada El Batey.

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