November 7, 2005

Sucesión de palpitaciones estimuladas por la crónica rosa dominical

Por: Manuel Clavell Carrasquillo en fragilidad

Por Rosanna Ducal Maradiaga de Fonfrías (Manatí, 1960)

Especial para Estruendomudo

 

"Eso define al hiperrealismo: llamar las cosas por su nombre".
-Pedro Almodóvar.

Toda la vida me he reprochado como una estúpida que no me haya permitido más tiempo frente al mostrador de las revistas del corazón. Considero que le he dedicado muchísimo a la lectura de las mejores y peores crónicas rosa, pero eso no ha sido suficiente para desintoxicarme del complejo de lectora adscrita al High Fashion Book Club.

Cada día este repechar mío hacia los sótanos de la literatura pop me sorprende más. Por ejemplo, es momento de confesar que nada compensa más a un alma sedienta de historias cursis como la mía que una buena lectura de Vanidades u Hola en el baño de la casa de mi abuela en la campiña borincana o un buen robo de espacio en Borders para devorar aunque sea en la imaginación de otra experta en filantropía caribeña una historia de la Paris Match.

Son los espacios de la coqueta femenina, del vanity stuff tan necesarios a lo Bianca y lo Jazmín, esas novelitas pequeñas de papel barato que me devoro una tras otra haciendo las filas en los supermercados o en las farmacias de la comarca capitalina, ese escenario de encuentros y performance del pase usté, después de usté… el no hay por dónde.

Este domingo me sorprendió la nostalgia de haber abandonado por lecturas más hard core ese placer anal retentivo de llorar con ellas en silencio la partida de un amor, el robo despiadado del cuerpo del macho querido por parte de la amante lujuriosa, la puesta en montaje de un banquete fino, para conversar sobre matrimonios posibles y conspiraciones familiares por matizar.

Toda la vaina sentimental se me recrudeció gracias a un artículo de la Sra. Claudia Rivera, publicado en la revista Magacín, intitulado: "Cumpleaños medieval". Los invito a leerla y luego pasar por aquí para que le echen un ojo a mi final.

(3 minutos más tarde)

¿Notaron la precisión descriptiva de algunas oraciones del primer párrafo: "El Castillo Serrallés de Ponce se convirtió en el escenario perfecto para que el Dr. Carlos Díaz realizara su cumpleaños número 44 al estilo de la época del Rey Arturo. La entrada del castillo estaba vigilada por los guardias medievales, mientras que Arturo, hijo de Uther e Igraine -representados por el Dr. Lynn Ramírez y Maribel Ramírez-, se preparaba para sacar la espada de la piedra para coronarse rey."

¿No ha sido ésa, precisamente, la petición que les hemos hecho todas a la Virgen María y a nuestros padres… precisamente, que nos lleguemos a encontrar frente a frente con un hombre que pueda portar en su piel y vestidos de gala la imagen de un rey medieval?

A mí la literatura del corazón me ayuda a mantener esa fantasía muchísimo después de la aparición de la primera arruga y el primer bajón del flujo normal de menstruación. A mí la crónica rosa me gusta por su aproximación a un detalle aparentemente frívolo-social, porque deja marcada sobre un papel una falta mía que bombea deseo de ser tomada por un Arturo distante al físico y a la mentalidad de mi marido, con quien me acuesto religiosamente hace más de diez años. Hay una gran fuerza actractiva hacia el recreo en un espejo de palabras que brillan porque iluminan los lujos que nunca tendré, el tiempo suficiente para planificar un agasajo para mi esposo durante todo un año y el valor de escoger los atuendos que se merecen mis amistades, que por supuesto nada tienen de medieval, excepto el alma noble de aquellas princesas Ginebras, los príncipes Lancelots y el look de adúlteros enamorados hasta el fin de los tiempos en potencial.

Si muchas tuviésemos el valor de encarar nuestras frustraciones sexuales de la forma y manera en que las heroínas de este tipo de literatura nos revuelcan los cargos de consciencia, otra historia se contaría y otras posibilidades de convivencia podrían surgir. Las feministas del primer estadio de la lucha reniegan de estos documentos lacrimógenos que se convierten en vicios para las ilusas como yo. Los hombres doctos y letrados abjuran de este modo de expresar tanto feeling, tanto montaje entrañable, para que al menos una pueda reírse al salir a la calle a escuchar cuchicheos de otras por lo fea y grasosa que una está.

Mi secreto refugio no tiene nada que ver con las paredes y los estucados coloniales del Castillo Serrallés. Mi cofre, mi bóveda espiritual, es una acumulación de detalles de heráldica europea. Escapo de mis tareas rutinarias por unos minutos al recordar el ataque de mudez de la princesa Masako, porque los esbirros del trono japonés la hostigan hasta el hartazgo por no haber podido producirles un heredero al tromo del crisantemo con cromosomas de varón. Siento cada contracción del parto de la Princesa de Asturias, doña Leonor Rocasolano de Borbón. Me acurruco en la presencia de la difunta abuela querida del trono español disfrutando una corrida de toros en Las Ventas o las cuitas de amor del príncipe Alberto de Mónaco, que ha reconocido en estos días a un hijo negro chocolat blanche que tuvo con una azafata, negra como el betún, ciudadana de Togo, y tantas cosas otras que suceden allá lejos; en el mundo de facilidades y conexiones sanguíneas al que nunca -sólo a través de la escritura, el vídeo y la fotografía- podré yo accesar.

¿Si los ricos también lloran, cómo es que las sanguijuelas literarias del mainstream le ponen trabas al libre intercambio de libros del corazón y, al así hacerlo, no me dejan a mí llorar en paz?

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